brilliant Aussie Passport Application

AUSTRALIAN LETTER – I think the sender might have been upset!
This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it couldn’t stop laughing !


Dear Mr Minister,
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date ?
For Christ’s sake, do you guys do this by hand ?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 40 years.
It is also on my driver’s licence, on the last eight passports I’ve ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off planes over the past 30 years.
It’s also on all those insufferable census forms that I’ve filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also… would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Audrey, my father’s name is Jack, and I’d be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead !!!
SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide?
I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I’m really pissed off this morning.
Between you and me, I’ve had enough of all this bullshit!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address!

What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can’t even grow a beard for God’s sakes.

I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl).

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate – and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?

Nooooo, that’d be too bloody easy and makes far too much sense.
You would much prefer to have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then having to find some ‘high-society’ wanker to confirm that it’s really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo… the one where we’re not allowed to smile?…you bloody morons.

Signed – An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in ‘high-society’ to confirm that it’s me?

Well, my family has been in this country since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!)

I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I’m also a personal friend of the president of the RSL…Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
However, your rules require that I have to get someone “important” to verify who I am; you know…someone like my doctor – WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN BLOODY PAKISTAN!…a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers – and are suspended from
the Commonwealth and United Nations for not having the “right sort of government”.

You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling bloody idiots!

Work

By Henry Van Dyke More Henry Van Dyke

Let me but do my work from day to day,
In field or forest, at the desk or loom,
In roaring market-place or tranquil room;
Let me but find it in my heart to say,
When vagrant wishes beckon me astray,
“This is my work; my blessing, not my doom;
“Of all who live, I am the one by whom
“This work can best be done in the right way.”

Then shall I see it not too great, nor small,
To suit my spirit and to prove my powers;
Then shall I cheerful greet the labouring hours,
And cheerful turn, when the long shadows fall
At eventide, to play and love and rest,
Because I know for me my work is best.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/work-by-henry-van-dyke

Good morning everyone here is this weeks extreme creature.

The Shield-Backed Katydid, know what a katydid is????????

If not it is a cricket, it is found in Australia throughout rain forests on the Cape York Peninsula. Why are they extreme, well they are 13cms long.

Katydids are very gentle creatures; if you find one and put together the right type of habitat, and feed it every day you can easily keep it as a pet!

Shield-backs do eat plants, and some are agricultural pests, but they are also scavengers on dead insects and are active predators, including on their brethren. They also eat fruit.

Good morning, also a wet morning so I wasn’t able to go with Leo to wait for his driver. Here are some facts………

The average human brain has about 100 billion nerve cells

Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel at 170 miles per hour

It took Michelangelo 17 months to sculpture the statue of David in 1504.

Once it was illegal for women in Florida to parachute on Sundays unless married.

The wind carries about 100 million tons of sand around the earth each year.

Awake at 5am up ten minutes later, Kathy & Summer here by 6am.

After my shower Kathy noticed her brake lights were on, she checked the car and yeah her battery was flat, Tim had to jump start her car so she could go home.

I needed a nap around midday as I was feeling drained.

30-10-21

Sunday and I was awake at 4am needing to pee managed to dose off again till 4.40 when I got up.

A warm day, no rain so good.

Saw Kelli and Freya and later Blain, when she brought Blain home.

Dave’s birthday he is 43 today, sent him a birthday message at 6am.

31-10-21

Woke at 4.30 after sleeping straight through the night got up had a wash and rang Tasha but she declined the call so I thought she was on her way.

However, when she hadn’t turned up after 10 minutes I rang her back turns out she was still asleep. When the phone rang she thought it was her alarm.

First day of cutting back Leo’s morning meds from 5 days a week to 3 days being Monday, Wednesday and Friday. We will see how that goes.

1-11-21

Slept well till midnight when Tim came to bed which disturbed me enough that the next 2hrs I was restless.

When I woke at 4.10 I thought give me another half hour and I will get up, I got up 15 minutes later.

Tim has ordered me a knee brace to see if it helps, should arrive in fortnight.

2-11-21

Slept well, woke at 4.45am and straight up of course.

A hot day, hot enough for me to be drenched in sweat but not hot enough for the A/C.

Saw Kelli and Jess they came over to look at something and stayed half an hour.

Looks like Kelli and the kids will be staying with Jess from next week as they still haven’t found a new house. Jono will go to his mothers.

3-11-21

Had a shit start to the day, had to get Tim to help me get out of bed. Things didn’t improve.

Kathy came and drove me to the doctors, so we could chat about my mental heath. He is changing my anti-depression medication. I have to go back in a fortnight. Kathy didn’t like him much, she wants to find me a different doctor.

4-11-21

Had a restless night, Tim came to bed in a mood. It takes me ages to change positions in bed now days, so when he came I had just managed to get comfortable and he wanted me to roll over and I said no that I had just got comfortable, this pissed him off.

Having a restless day and zero motivation.

5-11-21

Saturday and up at the usual time after a somewhat bad night. Had Kathy ring to tell me she can’t come this morning as she left her keys in Michael’s car and he was at work. She will come over this afternoon.

Tim is going to cut my hair this afternoon do that will work nicely with Kathy coming to shower me.

6-11-21

For All Those People

© Ella J. Phillips More By Ella J. Phillips

Published: May 2016

This is for all those people
Who hide in the dark,
For those who feel hopeless,
For those with a broken heart.

This is for every child and teen
Who is trying to flee from their fears,
For those who cry themselves to sleep,
For those who drown in their tears.

This is for people who hide their scars
Upon their wrists and their thighs.
I want to remind each of you
There is a reason you’re alive.

You are here for a purpose;
You are needed in this place.
You are special, you are beautiful.
It doesn’t matter what size, gender, or race.

You are perfect just the way you are.
You are priceless, a wonderful new.
You are dearly treasured by many.
There is no one more important than you.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/for-all-those-people

Hello Tuesday, hope everyone is good, I am drenched in sweat and it is only 23 degrees.

Well this week’s extreme creature is the Australian Pelican why is it extreme well because it has the largest bill in the world. The males is larger than the females, the males can grow to 50cms in length. They weigh about 6kg.

They can hold up to 13 litres of water.

Good morning world, here we are at the start of November and being Monday means facts day.

Nine is considered the luckiest number worldwide

Between 1931 1nd 1969 Walt Disney collected 35 Oscars

The worlds longest game of Monopoly lasted more than 600 hours

Most car horns are in the key of F

A hollowed out pumpkin with a candle inside known as a Jack-O-Lantern is placed in a window or doorway in order to scare off witches and guard against evil spirits. It is believed to have been started by the Ancient Celtic people in the olden days, back then they used real heads chopped of the bodies of their enemies.

Kathy took me to have blood tests done both my normal 6mth check and the tests for the neurologist

However, one of the tests the neurologist wants isn’t covered by Medicare and costs around $250, so I said not to bother with that one.

Kathy had to second Covid test as she made the mistake of mentioning that she was sick of sneezing to her boss. She has hayfever.

23-10-21

Woke at 5am, had a wash and called Tasha, however, the door was locked this meant I had to walk out naked to unlock it but found I couldn’t and had to wake Tim to open the door. Leo must be here.

Read some blogs, answered some letters and watched 6 episodes of ANZAC BATTLEFIELDS. I am right into both world wars I find them interesting.

24-10-21

Woke at 4.50am and had to get Tim to help me get out of bed as I had cramps in my calves.

First day of school since June.

Having a reasonable day being able to stand and sit pretty ok.

Started doing the calendars for next year, thankfully I saved the work as I went along because Chrome shut down on me before I finished. So I will attempt to finish it tomorrow.

Tasha came down to settle me down to listen to my book at 2pm as she has been doing for a long time now. However, I said I have to meet Leo but she said she will meet him in the afternoon as she knows how worn out I get by 2pm. I just want to lay down and listen to a book for a while, say 3 or 4 hours.

25-10-21

Awake and up at 4.30 needing to pee, I laid there thinking how long has it been since I last peed answer 14.5hrs. No bloody wonder I needed to go.

Had a phone call from the pathology people telling me on Saturday they didn’t take enough blood. So I had to go down and have more taken.

At midday I had another call from the pathology one of the vials taken this morning broke and they needed more blood. This time they came to me and the lady told me in future I should ask the doctor to request a home visit.

26-10-21

A new day and also second jab day, Tim is taking me.

I thought Tasha was going to shower me but no she will do it this afternoon.

Had my second jab no drama, although Tim was in mood because he didn’t really want to take me, standing with his arms folded.

Discovered that Leo didn’t take his meds, I rang Jess and told her in case the school rings.

27-10-21

A new day is here, I slept well enough. In pain with my knees and right arm not the arm, I had the jab in, also a lot of back pain.

Hot enough for the A/C today starting to feel like summer is around the corner.

I have been very restless all day, unable to sit for more then a few minutes.

Sue’s birthday.

28-10-21

Another hot day on the way 30 degrees again, so maybe another A/C day.

Ordered something for Daemon & Freya for Christmas.

So much to sort out and me with daily struggles.

29-10-21