Feeling Scared and like a failure

~ joannerambling

If you read these words how would you feel?

I’m pathetic, I have no job, no hope of getting a job and I need a job, I am barely scrapping by on what the government pays me now and that is going to be reduced next year by around $350 and I am terrified. I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking. I need a job and I am never going to get one. I don’t have resume, I don’t know how to write one and I don’t know how to do an interview. I don’t know how to do anything but stupid things that have no real world application. I’m pathetic………………….

I can’t stop thinking about this so I can’t sleep, I am so terrified I want to cry but I can’t cry because I am to tired too, every time I close my eyes I don’t know where I will be or what is going to happen to me in only a few months times.

To top it off I am a horrible mother to my son and I have no discipline and I can’t stick to my guns, even if I had them. I don’t know what I am doing, with anything. My life, his life, a job my house, my dogs, I am failing everywhere and I am Terrified and so tired but to terrified to sleep………….

This is a transcript of a couple of text messages I received this morning and I can tell you they left me so sad and feeling helpless, as a mother I want to be able to fix things and make my daughters feel safe and secure and well happy and protected and this makes me feel like I have failed. There is little to nothing I can do to make things better.

Unknown's avatar

Published by joannerambling

I am a mother and grandmother and I blog about my family and my life along with anything else that takes my fancy

10 thoughts on “Feeling Scared and like a failure”

  1. Joanne – can you find some free services for them that will help get them on track. I know in Denver there’s an organization I volunteered for called “Center for Work, Education and Employment” (CWEE) at http://www.cwee.org/index.cfm/0/0/3-About-Us.html.

    Is there something like that in your area — maybe some other government programs? CWEE helps people write resumes, finish high school or get GED, interviewing for jobs, etc.

    Hope this helps, Joanne. I know it can feel daunting in wanting to help our kids.

    Reply

    1. Unfortunately because she is on a single parent pension she doesn’t qualify for any help the government want pensioners to get a job but no one is willing to help them do so well that is the way it feels. She has gone to a few job network people and all they say is there is little they can do for her except let her use their computer to search for jobs.

      Reply

      1. Joanne – it’s got to be hard to look and get turned down wherever you look. Can I ask what state she lives in? Maybe I can check with CWEE to see if they know of any programs similar in her state. There’s got to be some help out there or, at the very least, direction. I wouldn’t give up, if you can help it. Hang in there for her — you can give her your love and hope.

      3. Somewhere I think I knew that, Joanne, but wasn’t sure. Well, I’ll send you love and support from here.

        I’ve been down at some of my lowest points and somehow there always seems to be an answer either through a message over the TV, a song or bumping into someone at the store. You’re never alone and without help — divine help. Remember those angels you were talking about? You’re daughter has them too.

Leave a reply to Pat Cancel reply